When a post is made on Tuesdays, it will be on serious issues regarding the LG, AB, IK (Inner Kid), AR (Age Regression), or AP (Age Play) Culture.
This week, we look at how people judge those of us who engage in these activities.
*Please note - There are some cases in which gender play and/or age play are sexual. For personal reason, I choose not to address these cases. The following editorial seeks only to defend non-sexually themed age and gender play.
One thing I find interesting is the multiplicity of groups that find the practice of age play and/or gender play to be upsetting. Put a man in one type of long black dress and send him to his job every day and we call him a Judge. Put him in another type of dress and a funny hat and we call him a Priest or a Bishop or a Cardinal. But let him wear another type of dress and he is branded as some kind of freak or pervert. Where is the logic behind that?
Age play is the same way. Wear diapers because you really can't control yourself and that is ok - but wear diapers because you want to, even though you can control yourself, and it means there's something wrong with you. Wear certain types of clothing because they make more sense going along with diapers when you are a toddler, but no wearing them when you are older than that - even if you still wear diapers for any reason.
And hearing this from me may surprise some - but the religious are oft-times the worst offenders. For a people who live and push a lifestyle that is not on par with those who are not religious, many don't seem to realize that when they point the finger at someone else, three point back at them. Why in the world would God concern himself with what kind of underwear I put on?
Think of the most innocent Human Being you can. Now, what came to mind? Either a baby or a little girl, right? So is it any big wonder that a person who loves innocence may as an alter ego choose to actually become that little girl?
Are there some cases in which Age Play may go too far? Sure. If a person becomes too immersed, they may not take care of their responsibilities. Everyone has responsibilities that should be met. In some cases we must take care of them ourselves, or we may pass some of them on to a willing and dependable partner. In some families Mom does the cooking and in some Dad really enjoys doing that. In some families Mom really likes doing the lawn care of fixing things around the house, or taking care of the car. Why should it always be that women do household chores and men do lawn work and car repair? The notion is ridiculous. In any case, as long as we meet our own responsibilities, what does it matter what we do in our own time among willing participants?
Everyone has their vices - their own way of relaxing and dealing with stress. Some like to do outdoor activities like hiking or cycling. Some like to go out to dinner or to a movie. Some just veg out at home and watch TV. Still others harm themselves by illegal drugs, over-indulgence in alcohol, or multiple sexual partners. Once in awhile, someone who is high-profile is found to be someone who likes to engage in AB or some such activity (Senator Vitter comes to mind), and people get all up in arms about it. But you can be an alcoholic (Senator Kennedy comes to mind here) and stay in office for decades.
What are your thoughts? Why do people get so uptight about these sub-cultures, but not about things that may actually cause harm?
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Agreed! It does seem that anybody who doesn't fit into a fairly narrow band around the norm is seen as a freak who might be (1) on drugs, (2) a pervert of some type, (3) mentally ill, or (4) all of the above.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, "is seen as" by whom? In the case of you and me, it's by an internalized copy of the "normal person" that we were introduced to as we were raised in this society. To know what other people would really say when they see an AB or ALG, we'd have to go out and actually survey some people. Maybe the results would be the same anyway. Or maybe they wouldn't. I don't know.
I've only heard one actual religious group attack an AB (unfortunately, it was me, on their web page), and their objection seemed mostly an attempt to fuel more outrage among their members at how far society had fallen (and in turn how badly their organization was needed and therefore how important it was for people to send in their donations now). They assumed that ABs were the next "protected minority" that would demand "special rights" and announced without proof that ABs were "recruiting" among young people. This is basically the same script they've been using for years, only they've filled in the blanks with "adult babies" instead of "gays."
I like to take a step back and get some perspective. There will always be a "norm." There will always be those who step outside it, and they will always be undeservedly persecuted in some greater or lesser way. The best things we can do are to try to broaden the definition of what is considered "normal" and make the persecution as mild as possible.
Very well said Sparkle, you took the words right out of my Mouth. Im looking forward to your blogs!
ReplyDeleteAll of life is about intent. If you feel you need to hide something there is a problem. If your behaviors are truly honorable and you try to cover them up they look all the more suspicious when revealed. Unless you plan on your only TRUE friends being in this community, it is best to be forthright with your activity in it. People assume that if you hid it you had reason to hide it, if they find out after knowing you for years that you are involved with this, and that you actively covered it up what reason would they have to think it is an innocent practice? One must also react properly when confronted, lying and running are not ways of persuasion, they are the evasive acts of the guilty. These are mistakes many in alternative cultures make. It isn't easy to allow the questioning of our honor, but it is necessary for the advancement of both parties.
ReplyDelete"Be prepared to give an answer."
<3 In love, Missy
Hi Missy.
ReplyDeleteI can see your point, but on the other hand, it isn't always as simple as that. Just because I am up front about something does not make it sure that you will find it honorable - and just because you do not find something honorable does not mean that it isn't (likewise just because I find something honorable doesn't mean it is).
I don't think you have to know everything about a person to be "true friends" with them; do you?
Let's say a person is a Marine. He has friends that are Marines. His life is that he is a Marine. He has been one for tears, and he has responsibilities to support a family - and his retirement completely depends upon him staying a Marine for a set period of time. During that time, he discovers he is TG. Being TG does not mix with being a Marine in the eyes of the majority. So - should he be up front about being TG, or should he "cover it up", at least for now, while he is among people that he knows will never accept that?
Another question that occurs to me is this - if no one ever asks you if you engage in a specific activity, and you simply do not mention it, are you actively "covering it up"? Or is it more a fact that it is none of their business? Where I work now, it is against the rules to discuss our wages. I have true friends there, but I do not know what they make nor do they know what I make. It is not something that affects my relationship with them.
There are people who make a construct around what they see as admissible and exclude all else.
ReplyDeleteSomehow in this society such things as getting drunk and bullying are seen as more adult and less of a concern than say taking your plushie to work and maybe being your LG self in your own time?
When it is people are making important decisions we count on whilst under so-called adult influences, is it right that a person who is more like us is more likely to be ridiculed when it may be that has less impact and could even be beneficial?
Regards Jo
( http://joanne-chan1.blogspot.com/ )